hello,

i am numb.

i have lost all feeling.

it sounds familiar..but lately it hasnt been. its like im here. but im not...really.

hopelessness? maybe. from hearing things like "we dont really know whats wrong with you..." to "lets try some [insert name of unknown medicine], we'll see if that works." and ive been hearing these same comments for like...what....5 or 6 months now? and yeah i can honestly say that im a bit skeptical to when this is pain will magically disapear.

it hurts cuz i dont wanna hear your counsel...im tired of you caring so much i just want to sit and be numb and not think about nething. no talking. and by the way, around everyone else, i do feel like the mask is permantly stuck to my forhead...but around you guys i can be myself..i mean right?... but see the thing is i cant seem to be that person i once was..the numbness envelops my being and harsh words come from my mouth.

i dont know whats happening to me...and it doesnt seem like itll get better this time.

LIVE LIFE LIKE ITS NEVER LET YOU DOWN .

single now .
but we cant even be friends...

grrrr.

</3

 Kara Perkins birthday tomorow.. love you hoe!!

soooooo basically my life has been full of drama lately.. it sucks ass! but im just hoping it'll calm down soon!

[TEN THINGS YOU LOVE<3]

1.  God

2.  My girls

3.  my best friend miss. ali popko

4.  my guys<3

5.  my cellfone

6.  shopping

7.  bueno!!

8.  drawing

9.  sleeping

10.  red bull

[TEN THiNGS YOU HATE </3]

1. feeling fat

2.   school

3. being sick

4.  having to get up so early for school

5.  drama.. hdfjshfiodsklfsdioayio

6.   arguing with my parents.. or anyone

7.  not feeling like myself

8.  cell fone bills... ahhhh

9.  not being able to drive

10. people that talk shit....

its been a

hard week.

sooo im done

for awhile.

edit

Go to my myspace... www.myspace.com/xxjoanne

Damn i havent updated in forever..

my trip to england was BADASS.. it seems a life tiem ago tho.. so much craps been going on since then.. its crazy

school sucks ass.. thats all i have to say about that!

theres been alotta drama lately.. my life is so confusing and stressful.. i still dont know wat the hell im doing! i seem to be making mistakes all the time. ive really messed up lately... and im sorry to everyone i've hurt! one person in particular.. but theres nothing i can do about it now.. its never gonna be the same.. i guess its love.. its gotta hurt! i think ill live tho.. life goes on..

 wow this is a depressign entry..

well heres some more exciting stuff.. i am OFFICIALLY 16 BIATCH!! had the best birthday.. : )

heres some random pics of wut ive been doing..

i love my girl ali

BYE BYE america

well im going to england like TODAY.. ill miss all of yall <3 ill be back in 2 weeks or so

well im gone.. so dont party to hard without me.. and miss me.. k haha

<333 ya

leave comments and ill read them while im gone.. n try to comment back!

alrite this is dedicated to Ali Popko      1. shes gorgeous     2. shes retarded      3. && b.c i love her BFF<33 OK so i updated.. just to make everyone happy!! this weeks been badass!! i love my friends i HATE this /one guy though but i love one... eric   [ 05 ] DAYS TILL ENGLAND

AHHHH FINALS! lifes a HOE.. to much stress.. to many reviews

umm what else is there to say.. i havent updated in a long time. ok so theres only 3 days left of school which is great. 12 days till christmas even better. and 1 month 5 days till my birthday.. big 16 BABI!!

sister just got home.. excited!!

<333 I love my babababayyyy

she dreams shes dancing,
around && around without any cares,
&& her very first true love is holding her close
&& the soft wind is blowing in her hair
                                 -rascal flatts "skin" 

i love the way i lose every time
whats even better is knowin that forever goes all night
the closer u get the more my body aches
one little stare from you is all it takes
i melt every time u look at me that way
it never fails anytime any place
this burnin in me the coolest thing ive ever felt
I MELT ....